3 Things Nobody Tells You About Postpartum

1. It's an absolute ROLLERCOASTER of all the emotions.

   Of course there's love, joy, excitement and happiness when we welcome a baby into our lives, although it may not be that 'rush of love' that we're often told we will experience, but there will also be lots of difficult emotions that surface during this period of time. No one talks about the frustration, the boredom, the anxiety, the rage and even grief, that we can sit with after our babies arrive. We are tested in a way we never have been before, as well as experiencing a love like no other. It really is a mixed bag, all the way through the journey really, but those postpartum months are a real rollercoaster.

2. It can be difficult to find the right balance with your family and friends.

   One thing I often discuss with my clients, is the role that family and friends will play in their journey as parents. One the one hand I want parents to understand that they don't have to do everything on their own, in fact that's a one way ticket to burnout, trying to do everything with little to no support. So saying yes to, or asking for support, can make the journey a lot smoother than roughing it out for the sake of it. HOWEVER (and it's a big however), there is a flip side to this. Some of us might have well meaning family and friends, but they might cross over into the overbearing territory. That makes things as equally difficult as having zero support, if it isn't working for you and your family. It is also just as important that parents know they are allowed to say no to visitors, to protect their family time and to set boundaries that meet their family's needs.

3. It goes by super fast but it feels like it will never end.

   One of my first ever NCT clients that I worked with 6 years ago, told me this phrase that a family member had said to her and it has stayed with me ever since. "The days are long, but the years are short". And it hit me right in the chest, because it perfectly sums up how I, and a lot of other parents, feel about the time we spend with our children. I cannot believe that I first became a parent more than a decade ago!!! It scares me, how fast the time has passed. However you might be reading this whilst you're in the trenches with a newborn thinking "What the hell are you talking about? I feel like I've been stuck here forever". I get it. The sleep deprivation, the colic, the cluster feeding, the nights that blend into day time and vice versa, it doesn't feel like it's going by quickly, right? In fact sometimes it feels as though this phase is never going to end, because it's overwhelming and all consuming. If you feel like you've been in survival mode for weeks on end, let me tell you, you are not alone. It felt like that for most of us. But what I can assure of is, that it will not last forever. At some point, and that differs for every family, things will get brighter and the weight on your shoulders will lift a little.